Books

ReDate Your Mate

ReDate Your Mate is a four-step strategy developed by Shela Dean to help couples bring the best of dating back into their relationship—not just on date night but 24/7. Most couples understand that date night is a good idea. Unfortunately, you can go on 50, 500 or even 5,000 dates that include everything from an intimate home picnic to a Paris junket and still be left wondering, "Is this all there is?" That's because "dating" isn't something you do once a week. It's 24/7, just as it was when you were courting.

If you've been married for a while, you've experienced the painful moment when you realized that the perfect 10 you thought you'd married is really a flawed 6 or 7. It's the moment when you wonder what happened to the giddy, can't-get-enough-of-you, higher-than-a-kite feeling that you experienced when you were dating, falling in love, and couldn't keep your hands off each other. Maybe you've only recently experienced that reality-check moment. Maybe you've endured years of a marriage that is more going-through-the-motions than alive and fulling—neither high in conflict nor rich in happiness, just blah. Maybe you've come close to the end of your love-hope-and-patience rope. Perhaps you've been effectively divorced for years, more roommates than spouses. Perhaps divorce has become increasingly tempting.

Take heart: the water under the bridge may be a trickle or it may be a deluge, but unless the bridge has completely collapsed, the opportunity to cross to the other side remains. Shela will show you how to:

• ReCreate the Dating You to become your best vision of You, someone who is not only personally fulfilled and experiencing self-love, but is also a hot date and a great catch.
• ReJuvenate Dating Behavior by doing again what made you fall in love in the first place and will keep you in love for the long haul.
• ReAwaken a Dating Mindset by nixing the negative and adopting a 24/7 positive and generous state of mind.
• ReVitalize Your Marriage Model into one that is based on your needs and wishes today.

The first book in this series is the Boomer Edition. It is written specifically for Boomers but is useful for any couple of any age who wants to bring the best of dating back into their marriage.

The next book in the series will be the Seven-Year Itch edition.

Frequent Foreplay Miles

Frequent Foreplay Miles is a strategy developed by Shela Dean to help couples have greater emotional intimacy. It all started with Shela's efforts to "cure" her husband Dale of his habit of being late. After all efforts had failed, Shela was inspired one morning to put it in a context Dale would understand: SEX! She said, "Dale, you need to know something about being in a relationship: foreplay is all day, every day, 24/7. It includes anything and everything that affects how I feel about you.

Shela and Dale laughed but he got the message and in his sexual self-interest became the on-time guy. Though it was a playful exchange, they soon realized that the concept had legs. Rack up as many and lose as few Frequent Foreplay Miles as possible and you can't help but have a better, more intimate relationship. It became the philosophy of their marriage and the basis for the strategy that is the subject of Shela's first book. It's fun. It's easy. And it works.

Written with humor, common sense practicality and a conversational style, Shela shows you how to turn everyday stuff—from a trip to the grocery store to an uh-oh situation—into an opportunity to score big with your sweetheart. You'll also learn how to:

• Develop the habit of constructive candor
• Turn knee-jerk negative reactions into positive spin
• Embrace differences as ways to express your love and strengthen your bond
• Honor and protect your relationship as something bigger than the two of you
• Keep new love playfulness alive
• Experience individual personal growth
• Deal with habits that might otherwise drive each other crazy
• And more

Shela doesn't come from an ivory tower. Her advice as been described as "the most practical and everyday useful advice about relationships" ever heard. In her foreword, Libby Gill says, "Shela has an uncanny ability to make complex concepts easy to understand and even easier to apply to everyday life. Her practical meat-and-potatoes approach, combined with humor and insight, and capped with a 'cut to the chase' energy, makes it fun to embark on her do-it-yourself relationship improvement course."

There are two books in this series, Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy and Frequent Foreplay Miles for the Remarried.